TAYLOR ROSS™|MUSIC

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Today was hard because it was easy
and easy because it was hard

Morning started off by waking at 4am to some heavy dreams,
the kind where you're trying to see people that really you can't,
even if you get to them in your dreams, you wake up.

I recorded the dreams on an older 2000's Sony dictaphone I found while digging through my dads house.

Twyla Tharp mentioned a bit about tools of the trade in her book, 
Creative Habits, and in passing mentioned composers using little handheld recorders while they were out walking the streets of New York.
We all have phones now-days, but I still write in pencil on staff paper,
and it feels very wonderful to have a specific little gadget that I can talk and sing into and play back later dedicated to the task. 
It separates the act  from everything else and makes it more real.
Plus it honestly records better and easier than my phone.
But theres not even a scan disk or memory card or output. 
It's a lovely little standalone device. 
And i've incorporated it into my creative process.
It helps me hone in on joyous exploration.

My alarm went off at 5:45am,
I turned all of the ones i'd set off,
& I woke up at 8:30.
I wrote a digital letter 
- after coffee and my James Clear articles -
from about 9:30-11am
Then I decided I needed to feel the pressure of the heat
and rode my bike to camels back,
climbed the hill & cried some more, 
I had been all morning.
I descended the mound and hung out at the park trying to fly a trainer kite someone had given me before they left.
There wasn't enough wind, and apparently it takes two people.
The Irony.
Stopped by the thrift store just because, 
and had the opportunity to see a friend.
Got some more legal pads
- I write my daily schedule on them and i'm almost out 
so I loved that there were some there -
and a good notebook,
I guess I feel like I can never have too many blank pieces of lined paper.

Came home about 3:30pm,
Ate lunch
Played guitar and came up with some good chords.
That's my art for the day.
That's about all I could manage.
No piano practice, no yoga.

Floated the river with some friends,
Actually one of them a fellow musician who i had seen at the thrift store.
ig@bootlessidol
He gave me a book on lucid dreaming in high school and I got really into it, off and on.
The dictaphone is easy for recording dreams, 
- the first step to lucid dreaming.
I got to the point where I could become aware that I was dreaming 
& control myself 
but not the dream environment.
Tibetan Buddhist monks practice dream yoga.
A form of lucid dreaming where they get so good they can control everything about the dream and choose to meditate while they sleep.
There's even 9th century Tibetan Buddhist artwork depicting the classic 
"trying to fly in your dream" 
Their philosophy is that if you can't maintain consciousness while going to sleep 
how are you going to maintain consciousness when you die.

I've heard of people solving problems to their work while they sleep,
I've had dreams of music; notation, audio sounds melodies and chords.
I'm going to make it a goal to get so good at lucid dreaming I can write music while I sleep, and with the dictaphone I can wake up and describe or sing it without loosing it.

I wanted to close by saying that I'm doing all of this to keep myself accountable.
I wish there was a way to post privately, not because I don't want people to read this, but because I hate the idea that it's for an attention seeking purpose, 
but the point is that it's public.
The best I can do is turn off instagram likes and hope I'm adding something positive to others' experience.

I meditated before writing this. 
I've got 46 days in a row now and i'm not loosing that streak.
Other than that I'll just have to get back into it tomorrow.

Daily Core Values Score, out of 10;
Passion - 6
Determination - 6
Excellence - 2
Discipline - 2
Creativity - 2

"Fall seven Rise eight."

See you tomorrow.